Transformers Huminated: Blast From The Past
by TheWeasel027
Summary: Professor Sumdac upgrades some animatronic dinosaurs. They malfunction and destroy everything. After being stopped by the Autobots, they become the Humanformer Dinobots, who are out to get revenge.
1. Dino Drive

"Well guys, welcome to Dino Drive," Sari greeted the Autobots as they exited the Auto-Rover. "You guys wanna learn about earth's history? Well trust me when I say that this is the place to go. My dad decided that I should go on a field trip so I thought it would be a good idea to bring you guys."

The Autobots followed Sari and Tudor-bot through the gate and into the line. The line took roughly twenty minutes to get in, much to Bumblebee's annoyance. When they finally reached the turnstile, the Autobots identified themselves and passed through, minus Bulkhead who got stuck for another five minutes. When he finally got free, they first went to the "Jurassic Era" section.

"These dinosaurs are from the Jurassic Era, which means they are over two hundred million years old," Tudor-bot said, "We have learned most of what we know via studying their fossils, most of which had come from tar pits which allowed for excellent preservation of the bones.

"Scholars believe that despite their size, dinosaurs were capable of amazing speed and grace."

"So even dinosaurs are more graceful than _most_ Autobots," Bumblebee laughed while pointing at Bulkhead "inconspicuously."

"Hey!" he retorted.

"What? This is payback for those 'short' comments."

"Those dinosaurs are pretty big," Optimus stared at the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"Yes they were very large, but they weren't known for being very smart," Tudor-bot continued, "Their brains were only roughly the size of walnuts. So compared to an XL-4 Processor, such as mine, their intellect would be no match." Bulkhead suddenly grew an interest in the pteranodon. He grabbed the branch it sat on and shook it.

"Does this one fly?!" he eagerly asked. The pteranodon screeched and fell off onto the triceratops, cutting its head off and sending the head flying into the T-Rex's chest. The T-Rex started to fall.

"Look out!" Optimus pushed the others out of the way just as the T-Rex fell on top of Tudor-bot. Bulkhead picked up Tudor-bot's head.

"Uhh, you okay?"

"No match XL-4 processor. No XL. No match processorrrrr," Tudor-bot's screen shut off.

"Uhh, sorry," Bulkhead apologized.

***************************************************************

"XL-4 processor? Primitive," Megatron looked at the Tudor-bot head, "It would appear my captor has the capabilities to manufacture, but nowhere near the scale I will require to build a new body for myself." The AllSpark energy had been enough to bring him to life and even give him minor telepathic and technopathic abilities, but had not mended his broken body. He decided to kill time by listening to the Tudor-bot's latest lesson for Sumdac's daughter. He telepathically sent his will into the machine. The head's screen turned on and displayed an image of a T-Rex, which looked just like the robotic one that was in the process of being rebuilt along with a triceratops and pteranodon.

"Dinosaurs were the largest creatures known to mankind. Their skin was leathery tough and built to take all kinds of punishment." The screen displayed an image of a T-Rex and stegosaur fighting.

"They also had evolved special enhancements, like this stegosaur's spike tail, to defend themselves against the enhancements of others. It was a constant cycle of keeping ahead of the competition to survive. And although they were large, they were also capable of amazing speed and grace." Megatron watched with keen interest as the T-Rex gained the upper-hand and sunk its teeth in the triceratops' neck.

"Scientists have been able to learn much from the fossils, especially those found in ancient tar pits. And although fossils offer information, they also gave way to fossil fuels which power many cars and trucks."

"I can't believe I programmed you with such simplistic information," Sumdac sighed as he entered the lab, "Everyone knows all of this."

"Oh, but I didn't."

"Who said that?!" Sumdac looked around the room until his gaze met Megatron's through the fogged glass, "You—you spoke?"

"Where am I?" Megatron asked, faking confusion.

"You're in my lab. I—I mean that—Well it's a long story."

"Seeing as I will not be going anywhere for a while. I believe I have the time for a long story."

"Well, years ago, I'd found you crash landed. I carried your body to a stasis pod to prevent any decomposition. I tried to see if I could bring you back, but the damage was too severe. I used a mind-scan to see what you knew, but mind-scans are a fairly new technology here, so I could only tap into certain parts. Well I suppose when I put it this way, I sound like a jerk."

"It's okay. Tell me, what did you learn?"

"Only your mechanical knowledge and some information about Cybertron. It sounds like a wonderful place by the way."

"And then what happened?"

"I sort of used your Cybertronian knowledge to help advance my technology. Soon enough I'd begun Sumdac Systems."

"I'm glad I could help. And what of my fellow Autobots?"

"You know the Autobots?"

"Oh we have quite a history."

"Well they had landed in Lake Erie. From what I know, they used stasis pods, like the one you're in, until one day, a monster attacked my tower. They told me that a piece of it got inside their ship causing them to wake up. They saved us from the monster. They would later save a burning building, stop the Decepticon Starscream, and even repair the city afterwards."

"Yes that does sound like my old friends. Ever heroic. Always doing everything in their power to stop the Decepticons."

"And after that they fought crime, and even saved my life from a man named Meltdown. I'd always wondered what they'd do to me if they found out what I'd done to you. But I suppose it's time to tell them."

"No! Think about it. What if you were to help me? Surely they would be upset if they found me in this state and you still used my knowledge to help yourself, but what if they found their old friend better than ever? if you revived me, I could help you explain your difficult situation to them. They would still be upset, but at least they would be more forgiving."

"I see. That is a good idea."

"But until then, I shall remain your secret and will lend a hand, so to speak," Megatron activated a pincer and tapped Sumdac on the shoulder to his amazement, "and help you rebuild those amazing creatures."


	2. Dinobots Destroy!

"For the last time Bulkhead, I said 'move like a gentle wind," Prowl restated.

"Yeah, Bulkhead, you're moving more like a lumbering boulder," Bumblebee laughed from his chair.

"Observe," Prowl sighed. He gracefully kicked twice and punched then motioned for Bulkhead to try. Bulkhead tried to follow him, but didn't even come close. He tried three more times until he tripped.

"Oh no," Prowl gasped before being crushed under Bulkhead.

"Medic!" Bumblebee called between laughs.

********************************************************************

When he came to, Prowl was looking up at Ratchet, Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Optimus.

"Nice job Prowl. Maybe next time you could try teaching an engine block to float," Ratchet grumbled.

*****************************************************************

"They are amazing!" Sumdac stared at the robotic dinosaurs, "The Autobots will be so surprised by my—I mean—_our_ latest creation. Our little secret," he winked and left the lab.

"Oh yes. They'll be most surprised. And these three will be perfect prototypes for my army of attack drones," Megatron said to the dinosaur who then growled.

****************************************************************

"This is a good place to train," Prowl said, looking around at the forest, "Quiet. Serene. And nothing for you to break." Prowl walked over to his "student" Bulkhead. He kicked a tree. The branches shook, and leaves started to fall.

"Watch and learn. Assess the situation. Choose your move." Prowl leapt into the air and sliced through the most of the falling leaves. "Attack with graceful precision. Now you try."

"Access the situation. Choose my move," Bulkhead repeated. He swung at the leaves with all his might. "Attack with graceful precision!" he accidentally slammed himself into a rotted tree which fell over and knocked down four other trees in a domino effect until the final one landed on Prowl.

"Why me?" he groaned.

***************************************************************

"Greetings ladies and gentlemen!" Sumdac welcomed his Dino Drive guests, "I would like to thank you all for coming to see this unveiling for my newest creations, the Dinobots!" The animatronic dinosaurs rose up and roamed the grounds. The pterodactyl actually flew over everyone's heads. The T-Rex roared. The triceratops grunted. The audience stared in awe and flashed their cameras.

**************************************************************

"You bumbling fools are so easily entertained," Megatron looked at the news feed for the Dinobots, "Perhaps you'll find what I have in store even more entertaining." His eyes glowed red. He telepathically sent his will into the dinosaurs. In response, their eyes glowed red, and they snarled at the audience.

"It's okay," Sumdac consoled the startled people, "It's simply a malfunction." Optimus pushed Isaac out of the way just as the Tyrannosaurus Rex bit down on where he was once standing. The Dinobots broke through the cage and smashed the area. Ratchet tried to stop the triceratops with his magnetizers, but it pushed through the magnetic field. Bumblebee shot at the pterodactyl with his stingers, but it easily avoided. Prowl attacked the tyrannosaurus, but to no avail.

"Bulkhead! A little help?!"

"Access the situation. Choose my move," Bulkhead said to himself.

"Bulkhead, try getting it in gear!" Optimus swung at the tyrannosaurus, but his axe was caught in its mouth and he and it were thrown away.

Bulkhead charged while still chanting, "Access the situation! Choose my move! Execute with graceful preci—OW!" Bulkhead tripped and fell on top of Prowl.

******************************************************************

"If this is the best you Autobots have, then you truly are pathetic," Megatron laughed.

******************************************************************

"Bumblebee!" Ratchet called, "I've got an idea. Let's combine your electricity with my magnetism."

"Gotcha," Bumblebee replied, "We'll make an electromagnetic pulse and shut 'em down." Bumblebee charged his stingers and fired it into Ratchet's magnetic field. The EMP field surrounded the Dinobots who writhed wildly. Sari's key was then pulled towards the Dinobots. Then, she got an idea. She ran over to Bumblebee and inserted her key into his stinger.

"Lemme give you guys a boost!" she insisted. The field seemed to become stronger and actually peeled the skin off the Dinobots.

*****************************************************************

"Gah!" Megatron screamed, "That key. It sensed something in the Dinobots. Something Cybertronian. It must've sensed my connection."

*****************************************************************

The EMP field dissipated. The metallic skeletons of the Dinobots fell to the ground.

"I just can't figure out what went wrong," Sumdac ran to the Dinobots and opened a hatch. He looked up and down at the circuits. "I'll have to start over. Pull out the wiring and circuitry."

"Isn't that a little extreme?" Prowl asked.

"They're just machines. Don't worry." But Prowl felt something. There was almost a twinkle in the Dinobots' eyes.

******************************************************************

"The primitive materials are nowhere near what I'll need if I want to create a new body," Megatron moaned, "It will take years for the technology to evolve to the level I'll need for my attack drones. And with no way to contact my Decepticons, my chances are looking grim. I'll be locked away forever in this prison of a lab." Just then, the tyrannosaurus rex skeleton stirred.

"Grim…locked. Grim…lock," it moaned.

"So, the Autobots didn't destroy you." The Dinobots skeletons warped, twisted, and bent. Then the metal seemed to melt and turn pink. Just then, three humans emerged from the masses. "But, what _did_ they do to you?" Megatron tried to control them.

"Me Grimlock!" the one that was once a t-rex said.

"Then listen well Grimlock. My name is Megatron, and I am your leader."

"Me Grimlock leader!" The other two then got on their knees. Grimlock stood proudly then pointed at Megatron's stasis pod. "Bow to leader Grimlock!"

"Obey me!" Megatron growled. Just then, the newly repaired Tudor-bot reactivated.

"Good morning Sari," he said.

"Ugh, not you again," Megatron sighed.

"Today, we will discuss fossils," the bot continued. He displayed an image of a dinosaur.

"Cousin?" Grimlock looked at the tyrannosaurus on the screen.

"Dinosaurs, when they died, became skeletons buried under the earth." A fast forward video of the dinosaur falling and turning into a skeleton appeared on the screen. Grimlock gasped.

"Cousin!" he screamed. The pterodactyl-man patted him on the back.

"Over millions of years, the skeletons became fossils. The fossils can tell us many things about the dinosaurs. Even how old they are. But the most important contribution of fossils is fossil fuels which power our cars and trucks."

"Cars and trucks… eat…cousins? Cars and trucks bad!" Grimlock concluded.

"Yes! They are your enemy! They feed on your cousins. Your family. And they are after you three," Megatron said, "The only way to stop them, is to destroy them. Destroy the fossil-feeders!"

"Destroy cars and trucks!"

"And the only thing worse than cars and trucks are their leaders: the Autobots. The Autobots are the leaders of the cars and trucks. They are the ones who made the cars and trucks to destroy your kind!"

"Cars and trucks bad! Aw-tow-bots worse!"

"Now look deep within yourselves! There is a power there! Waiting to come out. Build it up, then let it out!" The Dinobots inhaled deeply, and blew out fire. The fire engulfed and incinerated Tudor-bot. Megatron sneered.

"Me Grimlock like! But how pod-man do it?"

"I am the one who created you. And if you succeed in defeating the fossil-feeders, I will create more like you."

"Me Grimlock destroy…" he growled.

*****************************************************************

Fifteen minutes later, the Dinobots had torn through Sumdac tower trying to find the "fossil-feeders" and now burst outside in an explosion. There were cars lined up as far as their eyes could see.

"Dinobots! Destroy fossil-feeders!" Grimlock ordered.


	3. Me Grimlock Like

The police had arrived and had created a perimeter when Captain Fanzone arrived.

"How bad is it?" he asked. The officer simply pointed at the Dinobots. Grimlock shot fire out his mouth. The lanky one flew above their heads. The short one smashed his fist into a car sending it flying right onto Fanzone's car.

"…three…four…five…" he counted silently, just as his therapist had told him. By seven, he gave into his anger and snatched an RPG out of a nearby officer's hands and shot it at the short one. The explosive made a direct hit. When the smoke cleared. He brushed off the ash and continued his rampage. Fanzone sighed. Why did the universe hate his car?

****************************************************************

"So let me get this straight, first we deal with a bunch of dinosaurs, and now we're taking care of some cavemen?" Sari raised a brow at the Auto-Rover's onboard TV which was now showing them a news reel of the Dinobots.

"I've got a bad feeling that they're connected," Optimus suggested.

"What was your first clue?" Ratchet responded. Just then, Grimlock's fire breath melted an eight-wheeler.

"Did they…just…shoot fire…out their mouths?" Bumblebee asked nervously.

"Oh! I've got an idea!" Bulkhead interrupted, "What if we drew them away from the people? And then fought them there!"

"Good thinking Bulkhead!" Optimus cheered.

"He said 'good thinking,'" Bulkhead said to Bumblebee.

"And 'Bulkhead,'" Bumblebee reminded.

*****************************************************************

The Auto-Rover smashed against Grimlock and sent him flying through a wall.

"You think he's okay?" Bulkhead asked. Grimlock burst through the wall.

"Me Grimlock destroy truck!"

"I think he's fine," Bumblebee commented.

***************************************************************

"What happened to the Dinobots?!" Sumdac screamed.

"I'm not sure myself. They just turned into humans and went on a rampage," Megatron explained.

"I just don't understand. I followed your plans exactly."

"I don't understand it myself. Metal becoming flesh and blood," Megatron said, "It's…_inspiring_..."

**************************************************************

The Auto-Rover skidded to a halt in the middle of Detroit Central Park. The Autobots jumped out and armed themselves.

"Autobots get ready!" Optimus ordered.

"Aw-tow-bots? Wait. Me Grimlock forget. Uhh, cars and trucks…bad. Aw-two-bots, uhh, WORSE! DINOBOTS DESTROY AW-TWO-BOTS!" the Dinobots simultaneously attacked the Autobots with their fire breath. The pterodactyl-man attacked Prowl, while Bumblebee and Ratchet took on Grimlock.

"Think this's got something to do with the Dinobots and Sari's key?" Bumblebee asked.

"I've got a feeling there's more to it than that!" Ratchet replied. Just then, Bumblebee was encircled by a ring of fire created by the pterodactyl-man and triceratops-man. Optimus took out the fire using his foam blaster. The pterodactyl tried to shoot him with the flames, but Optimus met it with a faceful of foam.

*********************************************************************

"The Dinobots, their fire breath. It was in your designs!" Sumdac accused.

"Yes, I did," Megatron replied, faking shame, "I was curious as to how far, your technology would be able to go. For my new body. So I added features to the Dinobots."

"Features? Plural?! As in more than one?!"

"I promise you it was all to help me help my brothers in the battle against the Decepticon menace! Please don't tell my friends."

"I won't. but don't worry, we will rebuild your body, and we'll see about giving you some features. And please promise me. No more surprises."

"It's not like I can cross my fingers."

******************************************************************

Ratchet lifted up a metal plate from under the ground and used it as a shield as Grimlock fired his inferno. Prowl dodged his own set of flames coming from the triceratops-man. Bulkhead was still standing.

"Access the situation. Choose the right move. Execute with graceful precision," Bulkhead chanted, "_Access the situation_."

"Bulkhead! What in Primus's name are you doing?!" Prowl demanded.

"I'm trying to do what you do!"

"I've got a better idea! Do what you do!" Bulkhead gasped with realization and slammed himself into the triceratops-man.

"Ex_cuse_ me," he smiled. He jumped up and grabbed the pterodactyl-man by the foot, then slammed him down. "Sorry my bad!"

"Thanks," Optimus said, "and welcome back big guy."

"I'm just doin' what I do best," Bulkhead patted Prowl on the back, knocking him down with a grunt.

"Hey guys! Mind lending a hand?!" Bumblebee intruded. He and Ratchet were holding up the shield as best they could, but they couldn't stay there forever. Fire was split to either side and melted the pavement behind them. The other two Dinobots got up and joined their leader.

"Bulkhead help em out!" Bulkhead nodded then charged. He started to wrestle with the three of them. He managed to grab them all and toss them into the bootleg tar pit.

"Oh Primus! I—I didn't mean to!" Bulkhead stammered. Then the Dinobots stood up and tried to fight their way out of the tar.

"Dinobots destroy black sticky stuff!" Grimlock ordered. They all used their fire breath, but the tar simply pulled them in deeper.

"NO! why black sticky stuff not destroy?!" They were soon down to their neck in tar.

**************************************************************

"It's astonishing," Prowl looked at the Dinobots, chin deep in a block of road now being contained in a laser cage, "They were neck deep in boiling tar, and not only survived, but didn't suffer a single burn."

"I'd like to apologize again for the 'glitch' in the Dinobots," Sumdac said.

"You call breathing fire and turning into humans… a _glitch_?!" Ratchet retorted.

"I can't really explain any of that. But I'll try to be more careful next time I try to create 'next century' technology."

"And what of the Dinobots?" Prowl asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm thinking cryostasis. Then later we'll need to perform some experiments to see just how their metamorphosis happened."

"Experiments?"

"Just a couple of tests."

"I'm not so sure."

"I think Mr. Sumdac's right. After all, it could lead to some amazing discoveries," Optimus said.

******************************************************************

Next morning, when Isaac went to the laser cage, the Dinobots were gone.

*******************************************************************

"They do look happy," Bulkhead couldn't help but smile when he looked down and saw the Dinobots searching their new home at the bottom of the island's caldera.

"I'm sure they are. And I'd like to thank you again for the help. The Dinobots will be able to stay here and be free. And with some holographic trickery," Prowl pulled out a holo-cube and set it down on the ledge behind a bush, "no one will even know they're here." An image of a canopy shrouded the caldera and hid the below valley. Then Bulkhead and Prowl left.

"So why'd you help em anyway?" Bulkhead asked.

"Well, just because you've got something big, lumbering, and destructive, it doesn't mean you just give up on it," Prowl replied with a smile.

Back at the caldera, Grimlock watched some birds in a tree.

"Cars and trucks bad! Nature…gooood…" The birds then pooped on his head.

"Gah! Stupid nature! Come down and fight like Dinobot!" Grimlock tried to hit the birds with his fire breath, but missed. In his rage, something happened. A bulge in the palm of his hand grew until something sharp poked out. It grew out a full meter until he was holding a bone-sword. The sword burst into flames. Grimlock slashed the trunk and the tree came crashing down.

"Me Grimlock…liiiiike…"


	4. Bonus

Well, I had been dreading this episode and looking forward to it sooo much. Dreading because I first thought, "What the heck am I gonna do for them that stays close to the story?" And looking forward because the Dinobots are like my some of my favorites. I am overall happy with how the story turned out. Especially with Grimlock's crowning moment of awesome when he pulled out that bone-sword. But he's still looking forward to that "Awesome Moment of Crowning" (see tvtropes wiki). Anyway, as a bonus, I did this little spoof thing of the Aqua-teens that was inspired by a pic I saw on DeviantArt. It's what I imagined when Snarl smashed Fanzone's car with the, well, the other car…

Fanzone walked into the room, but stopped. His car had been crushed, sliced, and possibly looted.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY FREAKING CAR?!" he screamed.

"Me Snarl, kinda screwed pooch on that one," Snarl said while rubbing the back of his head uncomfortably.

"Now me Grimlock, REAL king!" Grimlock displayed the crown, made of spare parts from the car, proudly on his head.

ADDITIONAL NOTES:

Swoop and Snarl will no longer be known as "the pterodactyl/triceratops-man". Seriously, it gets annoying for me. So, the author (me) will refer to them by their names, but the chars don't know em just yet. I've decided for Cybertron to be an artificial planet. Sparks, in this fictiverse, are the souls. Primus is God. The End.


End file.
